We’re Our Own Worst Enemies – I’m NO Exception

I signed up for an all day acting workshop in Seattle which I'm excited and nervous for. Excited to get back in the groove yet nervous that It's been to long and I've forgotten a lot of technique I've been previously taught. I'm also traveling outside of my comfort zone. I know this sounds so ridiculous and it truly is. When I was originally diagnosed with Crohn's Disease, see my post Inside My Life, I started to get claustrophobic. I get the feeling of being trapped out of fear of getting sick and humiliating myself. This problem held me way back and confined me to places I only felt comfortable. This is my year that I am going to get over it. What I find helps me the most is trying to distract my own thoughts from self talk of fear and what if's. They say sometimes the ones who love you the most can hurt you the most. It's not typically out of hostility, at least I sure hope not.  Still they aren't the ones that cut the deepest, we are of our selves. Let's be honest here, we are our own worst enemies. I recognize this and I fight it all the time. I'm afraid of rejection, being unfairly judged and failure. I believe my fear of failure has been motivating for me and is one reason why I push myself so much. What is not healthy is how affected I am by what others think of me, or at least what I think they "might" think of me. It really is all in my mind, I'm not good enough, pretty enough, smart enough. If I can get over the fear of what others think I believe I can overcome many of my life obstacles and reach my stars. Of course people are going to say bad things, they will and I would be lying to myself if I said they weren't. If accepting it allows me to overcome it than that is just what I am going to have to do. I can do this and I will do this.